A Year Ago Today

*

A year ago today I met someone who would change my life dramatically.

Someone who made me think,

made me feel

and made me have hope again.

(*gave* me hope again, afterall, I am a Leo. I am woman, hear me roar!)

Shawn. He's strong and silent..

Caring and bold..

Articulate and funny, in a slightly dry sense..

He gets me.. or at least he's pretending and learning..

He holds me tight because he loves to..

He lets me cry even when I don't want to..

He's shown me how fun and enjoyable life can be if you just let it..

I'm indebted in so many ways..

I didn't think he was "my type" and look what happened..

Many more years to come..

Many, many more..

Love.

I'm not sure if I should title this post or if I even did. The last few days have been a blur, to say the least. Shawn and I had to try and juggle schedules with the kids. He normally has Anna when I *don't* have Cole on Christmas.

We decided to do an early Christmas on the 23rd with just the 4 of us. To see them all honestly enjoying what they got was fantastic! It was perfect. Well, as perfect as I could muster, given my mood. I loathe PMS.

Shawn, who was worried about getting me the right gift, spoiled the heck out of me! First, it was tickets to the Seahawks game on the 24th. And not just any tickets...... these were right behind the goalpost, about 10 rows up!! Wowzer! Then came a small, ordinary envelope...... hmmm..... inside was a trip for two to Las Vegas !!! No Way!?!?! For real. He and I had both mentioned that we've never been before. Oh, what a sweetheart!

Then things start to become blurry. It was a whirlwind of packing clothes for 2 days, food for the party, camera, etc, etc......

We got to the game without a hitch. I was set! 7 layers of clothing, coats and a rain poncho later - I was a happy bear! I really thought I wouldn't do as well as I did. I don't like being cold. I don't like being wet. But those 'Hawks came onto the field and it was standing room only.... for all four quarters. They gave a good fight but needless to say took a breather at the end and BAM! Chargers 20, Seahawks 17

We rushed over to my Bro and Sis-in-laws new place in West Seattle for dinner with the fams. Chantale is Italian and let me tell you cooked up the most amazing homemade ravioli !! Yuuummmmmmmm...... Melt-in-your-mouth ricotta with homemade marinara to boot! My description doesn't even do it justice. Just take my word for it - you missed out ;)

On a more somber note: My dad pulled both my brother and I aside on Christmas Eve and gave us the news that my Grampa Norman had passed away. My Dad's stepdad, who's been part of my dad's family since my dad was 16. My last living Grandparent. Gone.

I loved my Grampa Norman. Although he wasn't blood, he was the only paternal grandfather I had known. He was funny and witty and quick. He used to walk everyday, even in the dead of winter in Montana. He had a great laugh and a strong cowboy spirit. I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't seen him in probably 10 years, but kept in touch with cards. Maybe it was for the best that I didn't see him recently. This way I have the same fond memories that will always make me smile. Not of him lying in a bed. Not of him with a walker. Just the same ol Grampa Norman I always remember...... you are loved.

** CHRISTMAS 2006 **

Little man meets the big man

Awwww.... where's the kleenex?

The tree

Cole & Mom

"So this is Christmas...." Whew! I'm blessed, I'm thankful. The season really does something to me. Perspective. Appreciation. Wonderment.

I came into work today with a completely different mindset. I was angry, upset and brought to tears by a stupid man at Cole's daycare. I pushed open the door to leave and BAM! ran into a guy. Not on purpose. Not being careless. I just pushed the door open and there was a man with his little boy.

Instantly I said, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!". He just stared at me.

There was a long pause. A seriously LONG pause.

It felt like a minute went by.

He just stood there and looked at me. Awkward, uneasy silence. I could feel my blood boiling. As the door was still open and he walked inside, I just said, "WOW!"

I couldn't muster anything else. I was so angry, it didn't even make sense to me. How could he upset me so much? I didn't do anything wrong, no one got hurt, and I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!!!

Gawd.....

I was tearing up as I drove to work. Why?? Now I know how crazy people feel.

It's OK, Christmas is this weekend. Family and gifts and Santa. Thank goodness for Cole.

It's going to be a busy next couple of days with umpteen families to deal with but I can relax on the 26th - I took the day off, just to rub it in. ;)

In honor of my favorite,

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

"Eddie, can I refill your Eggnog, drive you out to the middle of knowhere, leave you for dead?"

"Surprised? If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised, Eddie."

"Save the neck for me, Clark."

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Let it S N O W !

Cole checking out the Wishbook, just like Mama used to do....

Child Labor

...and the payback !

Yes, that's right, you're looking at photos of Cole in the snow. In Washington. Every once in a blue moon we DO get snow. I love it, I love everything about it. The sound, the smell, the sparkle. I don't even mind the cabin fever so much. Having Cole makes it all new again.

We were watching the Seahawks and Green Bay Packers on Monday Night Football and you would've sworn they were playing in the frozen tundra. But nope, it was in Seattle. Snow all over the field. Qwest Field, that is. Cole was almost in tears because the Seahawks had snow and we didn't - yet. Shortly after, it started falling. I knew right then that we'd be staying home the next day. One inch and the city practically shuts down. And for good reason - we're not equipped for it, and no, we *don't* know how to drive in it.

We ventured out at 8:30pm to play in the snow and what a great time we had! Being a kid, you don't care if it's cold and wet and your gloves are soaked. You just want to stay out as long as your mom will let you. We got some great memories and photos out of it, so it was worth every frozen minute.

Tuesday was a different story...........No school, like I assumed, but it was so dang COLD, you couldn't stay out there for more than 10 minutes! The streets were solid ice, so I didn't dare drive anyplace. I was teetering over driving my car to Metropolitan Market to get a coffee but ruled against it. Knowing my luck, I'd get in a wreck - all in the name of coffee. Not worth it. But when my caffiene headache kicked in around 2pm I said 'screw it!' and off we went without incident.

It's grey and cloudy again, just as the Northwest usually is........I guess it makes us marvel in the snow that much more. I know if I had to live with it everyday, I wouldn't love it as much. Such is life.

Halloween

......And what a cold & blustery but spook-tacular Halloween it was! Cole was Bob the Builder, go figure. I almost had to force him into the "homemade" costume. My own fault, I guess, since I've bought him one every year previous. But he had all the makings already, so it was a no-brainer to me. He's got the tools, the hard hat, the 'spenders, the knee hole jeans, etc. etc.

We met up with his friend Scott, his mom and little brother along with their nieghbors for a hayride in Wright Park and then off to their neighborhood to do some good ol' fashioned trick-or-treating. Just like the old days.... The kids were troopers and made out like bandits - huge, full-size candy bars from most houses!! With Cole not really liking candy, I get stuck with it. Great. Maybe I'll bring it in to work for the guys...

The most memorable part for me - other than seeing my offspring having a fantastic time with his buddy - was getting a peek into the old homes of Tacoma's North Slope. Scott's mom knows all her neighbors and so we stopped and chatted with almost all of them, inviting us into their foyers and such. Ahhhhh....... I was immersed in these spectacular, grand homes that have history just oozing from every crack in their 100 year old original wood floors. Breathtaking. Most were on the Historical Registry as well. And for the bargain price of $430,000. you too could own a 5 bedroom, 3400sf semi fixer upper. That's reduced 20 grand form the original asking price!!

Mama & Cole on the hayride

Owen, Scott & Cole - looking at his tools...

The GANG !!

Awww.......

Oh, and my nephew Beans :)

SEAHAWKS BABY !!

Giants, schmiants...

That's right, I was at the LOUDEST game so far this year! Don't believe all the hype about noise being "piped in" - it's all me, it's all for REAL! If you still doubt, well... #1-you're not a Seahawks fan and #2-you should've called and talked to me on Monday. Ouch! I sound like a duck that's been run over.

They kicked serious BUTT over the big bad Giants. Hahahaha! 21-0 halfway thru the first quarter?? Are you kidding me?? It was electric, pure and simple. Shawn warned me that "you've never experienced something like this". He was right.

The tickets were a birthday present from Shawn way back in July and at first I thought, "OK, a Seahawks game." I like football, I cheered in High School, but I never understood it to the extent that all you football fans do. He's been "coaching" me ever since that nasty incident we refer to as the SuperBowl. Having to watch replays of the Hawks get... well.... 'effed' was brutal, but I learned. And now, I consider myself a 12th man. Err... woman.

I have never screamed so loud, felt that much electricity or had that much adrenaline run through my body. When they released the Hawk - an actual hawk - at the beginning of the game, I thought I was gonna cry. It sounds cliche, it sounds hoakie, I know 'cuz I used to look at sports fans like, "what?!?" But now - not so much. I want a jersey - how crazy is that?!?

COLE'S FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN !!

My baby boy..... going off into the big world.....I know, I know "it's only kindergarten" you're thinking..... but this is my Coley-bear.... my little man..... my skeezix. He'll be just fine, I know that, there's no doubt...... It's the milestone that wrenches my heart..... "They grow up so fast"......now I know what you all mean by that. First day of school....... wowzer, what a day for the mama's of the world. Kleenex anyone??

SUN LAKES 2006

Or as Cole would say, "Sun Yakes" but he didn't go, this is an adult annual camping trip to the Heavenly (and dry and barren) Eastern Washington. This is my guaranteed once-a-year vacation and I cherish it every year! I look forward to it so much that I almost end up wishing summer away just waiting for it at the end of August. Ahhhhhhhhhhh........ enjoy the photos!

Shawn & I relaxing after a hard day of floating

Bring on the Yucca, Dave!!

Shawn being inducted into the group

My brother Sean & my nephew Beans

Dry Falls Lake

Mt. Rainier

Me at the Carbon River Glacier

See that big blackish-grey thing? It's all one HUGE chunk of ice. Amazing in person - you just don't get the scope of it in photos.

I just love this uploading picture thing !! Shawn & I went hiking August 5th on Mt. Rainier up to the Carbon Glacier. I admit, it was a bit tough at first, me not being a regular hiker and all. But it was gorgeous and breathtaking and beautiful. All of natures gusto - BAM! right in front of you. But the bees..... ohhhh the bees...... I guess I was a little ripe and dang did they like me! Ugh!! I swear one must have followed me - circling around me - for 1/4 of a mile. "Just sting me already!!"

I'm SO ready to do it agian! This time with bug spray.

Pictures ?!?

COLE TURNS 5 !!! Scott and Cole at the Chuck E. Cheese Birthday Party !


Cole and his favorite birthday present!! (it was from me, awww...)


Cole & I at his Preschool Graduation !! Ohhhh..... my little Cobo is getting to be such a little man.

Kate, myself & Traci celebrating me leaving Tully's (anything for a party) !!

Let's hope this works....... Most of you know how computer savvy I am, so it's no surprise if these do not show up. This is Shawn & I out bowling with the gang. :) He's really much taller than me - I'm on my tip-toes and he squatted down a bit.

Joy and Pain

I think the reason I haven't blogged lately is because I've been wanting to add photos, and haven't been able to. So much has happened in the past month and there are so many photos I could share.... Ugh. Maybe I'll sneak my camera into work and see if I'm able to upload anything. Some of the happenings:

Cole turned 5 !!!

My little munchkin is a "big boy" now. Five. It's such a milestone. And that very next weekend he learned to ride his two-wheeler without the training wheels!! ("Are you trying to give Mama a heart attack??") He had a week-long birthday celebration - 1st at school, then his party at Chuck E. Cheese, then the family BBQ Party at Grammy & Grumpy's and then at his dads. Yep, spoiled.

Shawn & I are great and busy every stinkin' weekend !! (No complaints here!) Fathers Day weekend, Cole was at his dads, so Shawn, his daughter Anna and I went to Portland for the Champ Car Race. He has a friend who is on the Mi-Jack Racing Team and got us free Pit Passes. It was so amazing to watch those open-air wheel little cars go whizzing by us at 160 mph!! Shawn got to be an actual pit-crew member on the day of the race - which was also Fathers Day. Awww... My most exciting moment was to see Paul Newman in person!! He's co-owner of Newman-Haas and a living ledgend in my book!! I got photos of him sitting in the pit area. Aren't you jealous? ;)

We also went to Wild Waves/Enchanted Village a couple of weekends ago. Talk about a change. That was my summer hang out in junior high and I don't think I've been back since. So a lot has changed since 1988. Ouch!! Can you beleive we're that old?? The green water slides are still the best thing ever and yes, they still have the river ride with the tubes where you get stuck in those dang pools and go around and around until someone is nice enough to push you down. Ahhh... memories.

Cole has been trying my patience this past week for sure. He's been defiant and angry and just not paying attention to athority. Grrr... I know this happens with kids, it's happened with him before, but not for A WEEK AT A TIME!!!! Finally I had to get tough. He had had a red card for the third time last week so I took Shawn's advice: "Tell him how disappointed you are, have a PB sandwich for dinner and send him to bed." Period. I barely spoke to him and was very stern. It took a few (4 to be exact) days, but I think it's finally helping. He got a yellow card at school yesterday! It's not green, but it's an improvement. I told him how proud I was for not getting a red card (positive reinforcement). And I can notice the mood change in him already. "Ahhhh....", she sighs.

More on those photos soon!

Did ya miss me??

Whew!

Life has been a whirl-wind, spaz-tastic kind of game lately. And I *love* every minute of it. :)

Starting with Shawn. Where do I begin? He's great! He's amazing! He tells me often how lucky he is. And he's shocked that anyone let me go. Aww... :) (blushing)

We've had some crazy fun adventures lately. Fishing south of Olympia, races at South Sound Speedway, camping in the rain and spur of the moment trips everywhere! It's so much fun and we're making memories together. He's met the family and it all seems to "click". "Ahhh.." she sighs. His place is too small and so is mine, so we might be looking into that. I'll keep you posted.

And the job, oh the AWESOME job!!! I'll update you soon, gotta go - I'm at work! :P

Love you all!!

Catching Up

Has it really been a month since I posted last?? Amazing how time flies when you're having fun. :) Life is good.

I'm happier and more content than I've ever been. It's a relaxing feeling that washes over me. It's support and backing, but also it's the gut feeling that I can do it. Whatever "it" may be. (now I'm starting to sound like an eBay commercial.) Maybe that's because eBay seems to be my newest addiction lately. Ugh, I know. But I know my limits. Plus, I'm poor to begin with. I mean, have you met me??, I'm a barista.

Speaking of jobs, I'm out there looking. I've been with Tully's for..... it'll be 8 years this summer. Granted, I started out as a manager and have since worked my way backwards. (That's me - always trying to be different!) But I'm bored and if you've talked to me lately, a TAD bit fed up. I've talked about school for 2 years now and have yet to get there. I see my friends with computer jobs paying their bills online and e-mailing me during the day, making double what I make. I admit, Tully's is a fairly easy job. I mean, I get to talk to people all day! But the corporate snobs are getting to me. That and the fact that my hours were cut for two weeks in a row. I'm done.

One word: RESUME

Shawn has helped me put together my resume, got me set up on Monster and gave me the confidence and realization that I can do better. He's the greatest motivator and supporter I could have asked for. A godsend when I needed him the most. He got me interested in school again, told me that it's not as hard as I think and that I could do it; he's a believer. He says HE'S the lucky one...... Sigh. I applied for Bellevue CC - complete online courses that I can do at night while Cole is in bed. I was accepted and should hopefully start this summer!

New things all around. It is, after all, spring !! :)

I registered Cole for kindergarten last Monday..... My little boy. School. I'm tearing up as I'm typing this. He'll be 5 in less than 3 months...... Five !?! He's a bright, articulate, puzzle solving, "how come?", Thomas the Train loving, big-rig driving, fast running, typical 4 year old. He wants to be called "Speedy". He has his good days and bad days, just like we all do. Mostly they've been great! He's mellowed out a little, he plays nicer and he listens more. HE is the best thing I've ever done. Oh what I wouldn't do for that little squirt. But I'm also learning to be more of a hard-ass, so to speak. I know he's a good kid. But I also want to keep him that way and I've let him slide on a few things. Because I'm a single parent? I don't know, but I've got to crack down a bit for his own good. As I've always said, "I'd rather do it now at 4 then at 14."

As for Cole and Shawn...... every interaction becomes easier. I think Cole just becomes jealous of someone else sharing his time. For good reason - he's had me all to himself for the past 3 years. But I can see the two of them slowly working things out already. It'll just take time.

I guess that's it for now. You missed me, didn't you??

Balance

This is a concept that I ponder on a regular basis.

Just when it seems like pieces of my life are falling into place, other parts and peoples lives aren't.

I have met the greatest man I could have ever asked for, who gives me everything I need in every possible way. He's intelligent, sincere, loving and even a bit of a smart-ass. :) Fantastic.

And then it's the other pieces....... My dear friend, Todd, who changed my life in such profound ways in the 6 short months that I've known him has had yet another tragedy. It doesn't even seem possible. On February 14th I sent him a little Valentine's Day text to let him know I was thinking of him. He replied with awful news: "watch the news in the next couple of days, the workers caught my house on fire. no shit."

WHAT THE HELL !?!?!

Are you f-ing kidding me?? Seriously, with all that this man has been through in the past year and now this?? How does the universe really work? He loses his wife/HS sweetheart to cancer, then his dad, then the flood of his basement and sleeping quarters and now this. It's a total loss. Everything. Once I saw the photos it really hit home. I've been there. I've seen the pictures on the wall. The framed photo of his grandfather, father and Todd all at age 18, seniors in High School. The drawings and artwork from Tyler and Kayleigh. The fridge was covered in them. It's heartwrenching. And to lose another member of the family in the process - Punky, the pet cat. Ugh. I can't even begin to imagine.

Another part of the balancing act: My dad had a sore on his head removed to be biopsied. Skin cancer? He now has a huge, quarter-sized hole in the top of his head that is barely being held together by a few stitches.

And Motor, our 10 month old cat, is missing. Cole and I got home Sunday afternoon and he wasn't waiting on the porch as usual. He hasn't been home since. I've searched the alleys and called for him at the neighbors garages, since cats get curious and it's been so cold. But nothing. Now I get to put up flyers. To hear Cole ask, "What happen, mommy? Did somebody take him? Maybe he went to live with somebody else." is by far, the hardest part. Oh Moto......

Is it always a game of give and take or do things ever tend to balance out?

Saint Valentine

Love is in the air :)

Amore.

For those of you who have been reading - I thank you. You've even expressed an interest in what's going on...... even more impressive. I will tease you no longer.

I guess the reason I haven't talked about it is because I don't want to jinx it. With all the crap that has gone on in my life over the past 3 years, I'm done with the let-downs. But I really don't see this as being a let-down. Ever. With my past relationships, I think I knew early on that something was missing. I was making excuses and justifications. That's not part of the deal anymore.

So....... my boyfriends name is Shawn. :) ( how great of a feeling is THAT to say??!! ) And for those of you who know me and my family - stop right there! I've heard the jokes already. Har har.

We met right before New Years and kept it very casual. Meeting every once in awhile to have lunch or see a movie. I went to Mexico but then called him instantly when I got home. We had a few more lunches and movies, but still nothing too deep. I remember telling my friend Maria that we had been on like 7 dates and nada! Not even a kiss. We hugged good-bye every time we parted, but that was the extent of it. She (being the fiesty lesbian that she is) asked me, "Do you think he's gay?" (smart-ass!!) I joked that I was starting to think so.

As I wrote earlier, we went to see Super Deluxe. Walking out to his truck after the show in the rain, he pulled his coat over my head and kissed me. Magic. I asked him why he waited so long and he replied, "Well.... we'll remember this." As simple and sweet as that. He said he could've kissed me anytime at his place or walking me out to my car - and that he wanted to - but that this would be memorable. :)

Also as I wrote earlier, he's a rare commodity, a gem, a keeper, a gentleman. He makes me smile, makes me laugh, makes me think and makes me feel again. He makes me hopeful - not just for he and I, but for life in general. He's a big guy, 6'3" and has an even bigger heart. He tells me he's lucky. He tells me he's glad that I found him. He calls me for no reason, other than to hear my voice. He snuggles on the couch with me to watch a movie. He rubs my shoulders and feet. He hugs me in the elevator. He tells me that I rock! He sends me beautiful texts. He says he can't wait to see me. He asks if I'm warm enough. He sings to me. He plays me songs on his guitar. He pets my hair. He says I'm sexy. He holds my hand when we walk together. He looks at me before he kisses me and doesn't let go. He says I'm stellar. :)

But you know what? I believe I'm the lucky one. For all the things he says and does - the feeling is totally mutual. I give him all of this in return.

I used to despise Valentine's Day ( I still hate the commercialism of it ), but this year stings a lot less. :)

Please don't pinch me...

If I'm dreaming, please don't wake me up.

Even if it turns out to be a nightmare, I'd rather stay asleep.

Because I'm *L*U*C*K*Y* to have met him.

Because I'm a tad smitten.

Because he's a rare commodity.

And you know what? So am I.

He says I'm awesome.

And I finally believe it.

Even though I knew it deep down inside.

This is how it's supposed to feel.

Almost feels like spring

I can't believe that a week ago I wrote that I was glad to be home. The ocean, the palm trees, the sun, the sand, the r-e-l-a-x-i-n-g. Ahhhh......... But I really am glad to be back in this hell-hole that is Tacoma. :)

And as the title says, it "almost feels like spring". Spring to me is new beginnings. New tasks. New obstacles. New life out of the dead of our rainy and dreary winter. This one being especially rainy and tumultuous. I sincerely believe I have changed and morphed over the past year, since the previous spring. It's funny who floats in and out of your life. The constants are there, but not yours to keep. For whatever reasons. But spring brings the promise of new and exciting things to come. I *love* that feeling. I've been feeling it for the past week.

I finally got to see Super Deluxe after about a year!!!!!! God, I forget how much I love them. They put on the greatest live shows!! The show was at Neumo's in Seattle right off Broadway and although I had to open the next morning (6:30 am), it was my idea to go, so Shawn drove. The band on before SD ended (couldn't tell you their name, have you met me and my memory??) and on the way to the bar we bump into Braden Blake, the icon of a popstar that he is. Shawn has seen them umpteen times and the two rambled about random show venues. I threw in my two cents about them playing at (what was) Fenders in T-town. He even introduced us to his wife who was having her 39th birthday that night. He's a normal joe. Although I've met them all before, it was usually *after* the shows when we were all pretty trashed.

Their set was fantastic and although I have to admit I've seen better, nothing compares to the whole crowd singing all the lyrics to Years Ago... "despite the fight of intellect, instinct will rule...". Beautiful. Neumo's is a fairly small venue and it was packed! With Shawn singing in my ear behind me, I was in musical heaven. :)

And the weekend just got better from there.

Sunday was a casual, lounging, snuggling-on-the-couch kind of day. Breakfast and coffee and Dazed and Confused..... My type of relaxation. :)

Been catching up on some of my "list of movies" also:

Cold Mountain - Highly recommended. Gut wrenching and a realization that you're stronger than you think. Renee Zellweger steals the show! (and those of you who know me, know how much I can't really stand the woman - divorcing Kenny Chesney?? don't get me started...)

Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind - Brilliant. I'm going to have to watch it again for my own sake, but really amazing.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith - .....ugh..... I hate to admit that I watched it, not to mention that I liked it. The whole Brad/Angelina fiasco turns my stomach - me being a HUGE Jennifer Aniston supporter. (he's a slimeball and Miss Jolie, who used to wear the vile of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck?? forgot about that one, didn't ya?) But I really want their kitchen in my future house!! That was kick-ass!!

I'm looking forward to moving forward. Spring - it's right around the corner. Our days are already getting longer! It's still light out at like 5:15 !!!!! Woo Hoo!

Tan and glad to be home

I know, can you believe I said that?? "Glad to be home"?? What is she thinking??

Mazatlan was beautiful, don't get me wrong. A pristine mile long beach to walk. Soft, smooth golden sand to lay on. Colorful and exotic shells to search for. Palm trees in place of Evergreens. The best - and strongest - margaritas I've ever had. Being practically clothes-less for 12 hours of the day. And sharing the whole experience with my brother and sister. It was Heaven.

We had a blast, to say the least! Other than my brother getting heat stroke the 2nd day we were there and then pulling a calf muscle helping with a banana boat, we all seemed to have a restful vacation.

I think we all went down there with the mindset of doing close to nothing. We all ventured to the Juarez Mercado to do a bit of "local" shopping on Sunday. What an adventure! It was a local street fair/swap meet freestyle. Tons of color and flavor of the city. They even saw pig heads on sticks. ( If you know me, you get the fact that "they" saw them. It's all hear-say to me ) We saw a man blowing fire on the street corner. And met a man holding his Chihuahua who growled at us every time we came any closer, "He no like gringo's".

But really, the trip consisted of us sitting on lounge chairs on the beach. Taking in all the rays we could manage. When we left SeaTac, it was a record 26 straight days of rain. And my sister and her girlfriend, coming from Minneapolis where it barely gets over 30 degrees for 6 months in a row. We needed this. Our biggest dilemma was where to eat every night. We were all a bit disappointed with that as well. The food pretty much sucked. No real, authentic Mexican food to be found. I think they were just trying too hard to make it more "Americanized". Everything came with refried beans!! No whole beans whatsoever. And believe it or not, their refried beans were worse than Azteca. Tsk, tsk.

I did get some great new silver rings, :) an X-rated photo with Mr. Senor Frog himself, fantastic photos of the palms and flowers, and even a resident iguana - at our pool! The margaritas still stick in my mind. My poor sober sister had to deal with her drunken sister all week. Ugh. ( many apologies! ) They even wrote my room # on a slip of paper from the hotel and stuck it in my pocket - just in case. :) Ohhhh.......... good times. ( "Solamente!" )

I missed Cole more than I knew how to handle. With my siblings and their talk of "missing their dogs", I was about to scream! ( I love y'all to death, but...) I left my 4 year old at home !!! I was scared to call home to my parents for fear that if I heard his voice I would crumble. I didn't want him to get sad and weepy on the phone because that would make me sad and weepy. Ugh. Kids. There were so many kids at the hotel, too! Which made me miss him even more. I've realized that he'll go with next time. No matter what my situation is. If I'm single or if I'm married, he'll go too. It's too hard otherwise. By the time I pulled into my parents driveway and saw him playing outside I was in tears. I was just so happy to see him. :) Oh.... that boy....

Back to reality. Which is good. Sometimes you need a vacation to give you a little clarity. To make you realize what is most important in your life. To make you appreciate your roots and realize that you have wings hidden back there as well.

Irritated...

I've said it before:

I heart/hate technology !!!

I posted the "Mexico" blog Tuesday night and it *still* hasn't shown up! It's now Thursday morning..... Grrrrr.

Hope you are all well.

And what do I care about this blogging anyway - I'm going to MEXICO, baby!!! Sun. Surf. Senors. (it doesn't have the same effect without the squiggle above the letter. Dang.)

M E X I C O !

Woh, Mexico...
it sounds so simple,
I just got to go.
The sun's so hot
I forgot to go home,
guess I'll have to go now.

Mexico, James Taylor


Ohhhh yeeeaaaahhh........ In about 3 days, I'll be in sunny Mazatlan !! Away from this drab and dreary-ness. Ahhhhh.....

Are you jealous?? Cuz you should be. I say that with the most love. :) This was my "divorce" present from my parents (LOVE them!). I've been to Mexico before, Puerto Vallarta with my brother about 5 years ago. If you've met my mom, you know the story that goes with it. I won't repeat it - it makes me wince every time.

I plan on doing Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Yes this, to me, is what a vacation is. I know we'll hit the local market and maybe take a day tour to one of the villages in the mountain/jungle. But other than that, I plan to park my keister in a lounge chair and sunbathe.... Soak up the rays.... Revel in the planet that is the ruler of this Leo.... Jumping in the pool or ocean to cool off every hour or so.

It's a sort of family trip, also. I'm flying down with my brother Sean and sis-in-law Chantale. My sister Kathy and her girlfriend Emily are flying down to meet us there, from Minnesota. I was worried about being left out as the only "single", but my sister put me at ease early on, "I want to spend time with my *siblings*", she said emphatically. Yay! :)

This marks the first time I will really be *away* from Cole. Since he was born. Ugh. I did have my first vacation to Sun Lakes last summer without him, but it was only 4 days and a 3 hour car trip. And yes, he stayed at his dad's for a week between Christmas and New Years, but again - a 3 1/2 hour drive away. Plus I was busy with work and friends. Not lounging around, doing nothing. We'll see.....

I joked with friends that I will get down there and phone my parents at the end of the week to,"send me Cole - I'm not coming back." Don't laugh, it could happen. It very well could happen. I would miss my family and friends, but the rat-race really gets to me sometimes. What I wouldn't give to chuck it all and start over sometimes. In a warm, tropical place. Ahhhh.....

As I sit here and "write" this, I think of all the mix of people that read it: family, friends, ex's, co-workers, high school alumni, older, younger and possibly complete strangers. Funny how many lives you touch.

So....... bring on the margaritas!!!! I'm ready!

I blew out my flip-flop
Stepped on a pop-top
Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home
But there's booze in the blender
And soon it will render
That frozen concoction that helps me hang on

Wastin' away again in margaritaville.....

Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett


Adios !!